17 July 2008

Thursday Tickles

These are jokes that I got in an e-mail. Thought I'd share this with you.

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute, I have to go pee.

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.

''What about you Sherman, how would you say it?

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Eddie, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.

The teacher fainted....

A man and a woman who had never met before, and were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they wereboth very tired and fell asleep quickly..... He in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,;

Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.

I have a better idea," she replied . "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.

Wow! That's a great idea! he exclaimed.

Good, she replied. "Get your own f???ing blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End

One day my Mum was out and my Dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 3 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Dad a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mum waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Dad and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a Mum would know... :)'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

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